Thursday, March 17, 2011

holy high jump start

   i'm on a roll. here is conffession number two. yesterdays post was true. i have a theory about starting off the day with sweets helping to curb the desire for them the rest of the day. i hold firmly to it. here's the kicker. it staired me down yesterday, while rereading sugar high jump start. that post and i stood in the center of town square, about 25 feet away from one another, hands at a ready. one to reach for more coffee, the other to push delete (no guns in the showdown of my mind).
   their was once a time i had coffee with the King every morning. it wasn't easy waking up before the kids, the husband, the chickens and yes, even the sun. i was coaxed out of bed before dawn by the lure of a small one cup coffee maker on my bedside table. the clock would scream its usual "GET UP! IT'S TIME! GET UP! SLEEP IS DONE!" and i trained myself to turn it off and press brew. the tiny one cup coffee maker would brew, purk a little and steam almost like an appolagy for the annoyance of the clock an would gently reminding me that i had a coffee date to wake up for.  every morning, for the longest time i would wake up like this and enjoy my first cup in the quiet of my prayer closet. sipping between repenting. sipping bewteen giving thanks. sipping between asking for help in this and in that, and for him or for her. sipping between sobbing for those who don't yet know the sweet fragrance of the love song that plays in the backround of coffee dates such as these.
   early morning coffee with my heavenly Father.
   so what happened you ask? obviously i'm not keeping this date as of late. no. i am not. i have been standing Him up. standing up the One who calls me beloved and blessed and desires nothing short of communion in spirit and to love on this broken child of His. one who needs desperately to be fixed of all the messy world-wounds, most of which i create myself. mind you, i am not totally negelecting my first Love but in the sugar high jump start post i am reminded that my tithing time away from my comfortable bed, tithing my percious sleep, has been lost and forgotten and even accepted in a cheeky post. 
   not okay. not acceptable.
   forgotten in sickness. forgotten in depression. lost in my selfishness. all of which are just the things that close communion with He who is the Creator of all that is seen and unseen, can heal me from and set me forever free from.
   a holy high jump start is by far a better way to start the day. is a better way to be best prepared for the day. of coarse i'm not saying that i won't still share cupcakes with my children first thing in the morning, but if i am so prepared, having been jump started by the Jumper Cables of the Universe, my children may in fact have two healthy breakfasts. instead of one infused with sugar and then a "make up breakfast" more on the healthy side.
   and while i'm confessings to an infinate void, i may as well bring up that whole "voyers who may get their super-mom capes in a bundle" comment. i must remind myself. this is a blog that i started for the sake of my own remembering. more so that with each passing second i won't be both trying to sear each and every precious moment of my family into my brain and grieving it's fleeting loss in my bad memory. not to have public followers. and doesn't that sound creepy anyway? to have followers. i am sure, every family goes through these wonderful family moments as well. they need not read mine but go and live them out with their own families. and so i will continue to post so that i can remember and whomever wants to come along, or not come along for the ride, either privately or publicly, may.
   excuse me, i have an alarm clock and small one cup coffee pot to go set up, for tomorrow i am having coffee with the King. a holy high jump start. 

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