raising royalty

   while growing up i was not big into princesses. of course i did have princess diana paper dolls but i was told early on that we didn't have kings and queens in america. that i wasn't going to be a princess. ever. we didn't have the disney channel so i hadn't seen cinderella, snow white or even sleeping beauty. at least not until i was old enough to be embarrassed for actually wanting to watch them. i had heard of the story of cinderella as a young girl but thought it all highly unlikely to be true, so i just didn't buy into it.
  as  i grew i met a feminist who spoke of the "great dangers" of teaching your daughters that they were princesses. that waiting for "prince charming" to come and "save" them was not teaching our daughters independence and so on and so forth. i thought it was interesting but it was never a big deal to me either way.
   i am now 32 years of age and on a daily basis i remind myself, my husband and our children that we are children of the King. having "officially" invited King Jesus to come and live in my heart 14 years ago, i am only now grasping the brevity of it all.
   romans 8:15-17 for you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of son ship. and by him we cry, "Abba, Father." the Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
   their it is. we are, in fact royalty. this sits heavy on my shoulders. looking deep into the eyes of my children i cry, 'Abba, Father! how can i do this Your way? how can i purposely NOT mess this up? not mess them up?'
   i didn't have an example of what raising Godly children looked like in my own home. i rode to church with the neighbors and really liked the way the parents parented. i saw in my grandparents a difference, a patience that wasn't displayed at home. home on the weekends was a playground for the enemy and often i hide out in my room, pen or paint brush in hand. my wordy, colorful escape.
   i fear that my children are teaching me how to be a better parent. a Godly parent. they are my trial and my error. i am thankful they are young and quick to forgive. 
   royalty. i am to train up royalty?
   proverbs 22:6 train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
   really? is it just that easy? no! i am finding that my children learn all my behaviors that i'm not purposely training them. i am inadvertently training them when  even my guard is down. when my teacher hat has been taken off and i let my gut out. when my deep breathing is more of a huff of exasperation. when i am shouting. (yes i shout) when i am impatient and i do for them because "we don't have time for this."  
   they are showing me all the many places that i have to grown in Christ. these little mocking birds. my monkeys see and my monkeys do. unfortunately this momma still has so much growing and all the while i am to be teaching. training up royalty in the way that they should go? all the while i am still learning and practicing myself. and might i add, i make mistakes on a daily basis. an hourly basis. sometimes quarters of an hour. on the 15 minute mark just simply because i know i'm trying so hard and why don't i get a break to just shout a little? that deathly flesh of mine.
   raising royalty....isn't there someone better qualified for this job? i know i have been hand picked for these two precious souls, but Lord! Abba, Father! can't you download all that i have to learn before it's too late and they are out the door and the book has been written? information download please? 
   raising royalty. it's heavy.  it's enough to make me wanna give up before the day even starts and i am messing up every day, i am sure of it. 
   matthew 11:28-30 come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
   not that raising my children is a burden but the thought of doing it right the first time, all the time is a burden. ......a lie. i am not perfect. never ever will be. i have to be kind with myself and remind myself that my best, at any given part of the day, is acceptable. that my best right now may not be the same as my best 24 hours ago, or 24 seconds ago. and maybe that's okay?
   raising royalty. i can always rest assure that my flaws are character building not only in me but my children too. right? raising royalty. why is there not classes i can take for this? like after the kids go to bed? no, i guess i go to bed soon after them. maybe while they nap? no, that's when i'm catching up on making my home. maybe before they wake in the morning? ......ah-yes. my quiet time with the King. coffee with my Father. this is the time i can ask Him for council. for grace. for abounding love and joy in all that is placed before me.
   when my heart is heavy with the task of raising royalty, and doing a job the King would be pleased with, i guess the only thing i can do is ask of my Father the King, "please, gently guide me in my training today? please teach me my error before i pass them on to my- to Your children? show me my example before i show it and teach it to them?  Abba, Father! i pray i am all that you need me to be so that they will be all that they can be in Your son. and please Holy Father, remind me, often, that i too am royalty, a child of the king.'