mommy's throwing a temper aria!!

   their has been a lot of talk, in the small groups i talk with, about temper tantrums. moms venting to moms about their small children throwing themselves around on the floor, flailing about in convulsive ways. asking other moms, how long will this last? laughing about the ridiculousness of it. crying about the embarrisingness of it when it takes place in public. i've heard a few moms say, "wait 'til your two year old reaches puberty" this one always makes me laugh, unless they are saying it to me of coarse, in which case i say a quick prayer for peace to fall fresh over my children and patience to implant itself into my core being, and never leave. ( i know, praying for patience is expecting to have ample chances to practice patience, at every single second of the day. ) 
   can i just be honest? i am going to be 32 years old very soon. i am still throwing temper tantrums. they come while trying to clean up the kitchen. they come while unloading groceries and children out of the car and up to our second floor kitchen. they come while i'm trying to get out the door, already very late, on the way to church ~ hahaah!! they come while i'm praying for patience!! hahaahaaah!! and they sound like either the sound of music or phantom of the opera. no kidding. ever since i can remember, i've been getting in trouble for humming. i got my first handful of detentions for humming in miss mencer's first grade class. i didn't even know i was humming, how could i fess up unless i was aware i was doing it? that's how often and how long i've been a hummer. i hum or sing when i'm nervous. i hum or sing when i am happy. i hum or sing when i am sad. i hum or sing when i am angry.    i am a soprano. i am loud. and like to sing in an operatic kind of way when i am angry. this doesn't happen often, but often enough that my daughter is now singing along in her best mommy's-soprano-aria impression that a 1 1/2 year old possibly can. from the bottom of my being i sing!! " in dreams he saaaang to meeee ~ a straaaange duet ~ " or " how do you solve a problem like maria ~  " i figure, it's perfect deep breathing exercises and i'm releasing a bit of frustration disguised as a crazy need to just belt it out. no one has to know. but everyone hears.
   i no longer sweat it when grace rolls around the floor picking up her feet and slamming them back down again. when mikey throws his head back and whines loudly in protest. instead i take a deep breath, and sing!! "how do you catch a cloud and pin it down ~ "  we must be the strangest sight and sound at the grocery store.